Tuesday, December 4, 2012

reinventor


Hey, there!
 Do you know what today is? Holy moly it's Trailer Day! My Creativebug instructor trailer is now live and ready for you to go visit. Instead of feeling utterly vulnerable and shy, as I had expected- I am proud and grateful. This mini documentary (totally what it feels like to my mom!) is more than a simple introduction... it was crafted so that each frame literally has a story behind it. I have no idea what it will be like for someone who doesn't know the details of my life, but for those that do it is amazing how seamlessly so many facets of my world and history are woven together.

So here's inside scoop for you:
The San Francisco hill top is Bernal Heights. I grew up at the bottom at Precita Park, and my best friend lived at the tippy top. We played on those very rocks (with that sweeping view) every week for many years of my childhood. It was our fort and playhouse, the set for all of our imaginary play and adventures.

The street I'm walking down is to my old house on Precita... and it's where all of the old photos are taken from, too. I hadn't been back in years... but it's still exactly the same. It was kind of unbelievable to open the very gate I remembered swinging on when I was 5.

The murals? They were the backdrop of my girlhood. My neighborhood is renowned in San Francisco for its murals- they were and still are an integral part of the area's identity.  The artist for the one in the trailer lived down the street from me, and since I played with her daughter she painted us in. You can find out more about the Mission murals right here at Precita Eyes. We lived directly next door when the founders, Maria and Luis Cervantes, moved in...  it's still there providing incredible education and culture to the city. Some things don't change.

And then there's all of  the pieces of my grown up life and the country side that is such a contrast to those urban roots, but very much the expression of who I am today. It will look very familiar to you if you visit here frequently, but it's real- not a frozen snapshot.

***

And of course, since synchronicity is always at my side, it's not surprising that this week marks when the real reinventing of myself begins. My legal separation from my children's father is now official. The next chapter is really here. I've tried to be so strong, but last night I had a bit of overwhelm... a fragile moment when I thought- how the hell am I going to do this all by myself?  Raising two kids, building this business, running a home, making it fun, keeping it real, helping others, doing good... you know-  LIFE!

And then I woke up to this trailer... this gift.! This reminder!

Thank you to the Creativebug film crew (Debra, Fernando, Daryl, Danny, and Kelsey) who helped me to see myself and gave me my own words to answer any doubts I might ever have. Now, you'll just have to go watch to hear what they are!
xxx,
Maya

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60 comments:

  1. Look how beautiful that smile is.
    It's difficult imagine you NOT doing everything you need to do, lovely, with grace and appreciation too. You're an inspiration. x

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  2. Great Job at Creativebug! Feeling scared and worried last night means you are smart enough to understand what a big job you have ahead of you. You can do it and you will be overwhelmed sometimes. My brother went through what you are going through a couple years ago. Right now you are building a new foundation for yourself and your children. That takes time to do right and make solid enough for a lifetime. Being strong doesn't mean not crying, it means wiping away the tears and saying ok, taking a deep breath and going forward.

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    1. whoever you are, sweet unknown soul, thank you! yes- taking that deep breath.

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  3. LOVED the trailer! You can do it-----as they say, one day at a time. Don't let anything stifle your creative being.

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  4. This is the first time I have ever heard your voice and it is different than I always imagined it.

    Watching that video made me feel a very deep love for you, Ms. Maya.

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  5. Like you this video is beautiful! And what a perfect moment for it to come out. You do have a rough road ahead of you, but you are so strong, and have support all around you. Do not be afraid to lean when you are feeling weary.

    I loved hearing your voice and seeing this video. It is truly stunning and beautifully done.

    Keep your head held high and know that you are deeply loved.

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    1. Your last words are exactly what my grandmother told me last week. Thank you!

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  6. Maya, you are so inspirational. I love your video very much.

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  7. The video is so inspiring Maya! Thinking of you and your journey ahead.

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  8. I really enjoyed watching this!Yes nothing is going to stop us!AriadnefromGreece!

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  9. Wow. That little trailer is so amazing and wonderful and inspiring. And your voice! You have such a lovely, warm and real person voice. I can't get over your voice. I have a much deeper feeling for and about you after hearing it!

    I have watched your journey from a distance and it seems to me you are on such an amazing path! Good luck on the next steps.

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    1. thanks Kate... I don't even know how I sound... that's always the funny part for all of us, no? But a real person- I certainly strive to be nothing but. Glad/relieved that came through. xxx

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  10. Six years ago I started out on my own with two children, age 12 and 11. Today I have been sorting out cupboards and I.found a letter from their Dad, saying how hopeless I would be, how I would ruin our children, I'd fail finanancialy and the children would grow up out of control.

    Six years on my son is an A*student, and my daughter is in London at uni.

    I remember the feeling of fear as I started out on my journey, self doubt and shear lack of belief in myself. The film was wonderful, you views and beliefs are sound and so worthwhile.

    You will be fine. You just have to believe in yourself xx

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    1. These are the words that mean so much to me, that give me hope, that help me begin each day. Thank you!

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  11. Wow, this was a truly beautiful video! It was so inspiring and uplifting and yet also peaceful and warm. You are on a wonderful path, thank you for sharing it with us all.

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  12. Hello Maya. I love this film. So gorgeous! And, after reading your blog for some time, it's lovely to hear your voice. Thank you for the reminder about 'mistakes'! The need for perfection can so often stymie creativity, sometimes before we even begin something. I'm constantly struggling with this, and i see it in my son too. I'm trying to show him by example that we needn't fear making mistakes, and that these so-called mistakes often lead to something new and interesting, and maybe even better than what we had originally envisaged. I'm so inspired by your blog and your creativity and your bravery. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. fiona (from Australia) x

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    1. I'm so glad you picked up on my thoughts around mistakes. I continue to work on it everyday. It gets easier with practice and encouragement from your mother... at least, that's how it is for me and my mom and hopefully my children! Modeling acceptance (and curiosity about what it might be) is such a wonderful way for both you and your son to work with your inner critic. He's so lucky to have you.

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  13. Thank you, dear Maya,

    for being so brave and steping in front of a video camera, sharing your wonderful views, beliefs and thoughts with the world out there.
    Well, here I am, overseas in good ol' Europe, hearing you. How great is that!?

    You know what? Your projects, stories, photos, well everything you share are the wind that lifts my feeble wings of creativity and give me courage to try and fail and succeed. So I thank you and wish you all the best!

    Take care!
    Aniger (Austria)

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    1. I'm so honored Angie... and I bet your wings are much stronger and braver than you realize. xxx

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  14. FANTASTIC Maya!!! You are love and inspiration and joy and possibility.... Congratulations on the creative bug program. May many others begin to know how wonderful you are.

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  15. Single Mama of three here. Don't worry too much you will do wonderful! Sometimes its actually easier, you can parent the way you choose, spend your time with your children the way you choose, you don't have to worry about splitting your time pleasing your partner and your children. You may have some difficult moments but they will pass. I actually listed being a single parent as something I was grateful for this year. Here's to the next step in your journey, I think you will surprise yourself at just how awesome you are!

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    1. I definitely hear the truth in that. Perhaps next year it will be on my grateful list too. I certainly will be working towards it. Thank you for your knowing perspective... I so appreciate it.

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  16. As others said... I loved hearing your voice. When I read your blog I can hear you talking to me but I just love hearing your warm and kind sound of your voice, thanks for sharing... You really inspire me!

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  17. Oh my goodness! This is so yummy beyond belief! Every little detail...the history, the connections and those pictures of you as a child.wow. That moment of you standing up net that railing with your hair blowing ... Have me chills and my heart swelled big time. Your energy, your strength, your gift... Oh what a blessing you are. You are doing a great job and will continue to do a great job because you are you...

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    1. and because I have girlfriends like you, sweet mama! xxx

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  18. That video was so beautifully done.
    You have such a reassuring and empowering voice.
    Just lovely.
    ~Michelle

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    1. Thank you Michelle. I love those two adjectives and will try to remember them when in doubt.

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  19. Oh, that is so lovely! I'm so glad to hear your voice & thoughts.

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  20. Maya, no only are you going to DO IT alone, this life thing, but you are going to be GREAT at it - you're going to ROCK IT!

    Karen

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    1. I certainly will give it my all! Thanks Karen!

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  21. This is so beautiful! The reminder to be present, for there is no where else to be is so important. I am inspired by your ability to find beauty in the ordinary, and the tough. Thank you for sharing this.

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    1. Thanks Kat- I need those reminders just as much as everyone (maybe more!) so I write them down and hang up everywhere, so as not to forget.

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  22. It's these HUGE life changes that can be so unexpectedly draining for the initiated and the uninitiated both. But that only leaves room to be filled up again by new wonders.

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    1. here's to wide open spaces for new wonders!

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  23. Absolutely lovely Maya, I enjoyed every minute of your video!

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  24. I guess I will be repeating what has been said above, but WOW!!

    What a wonderful trailer!! It makes you more "real" to me hearing your voice telling your story! And watching you go to the places shown in the photos of little you!!

    You are an amazing woman! You can do anything! You just have to believe!!
    One door closes, another door opens. Sounds like you are there! 8*)

    Thank you for sharing that beautiful video! 8*)

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    1. After months of closed doors, it certainly does feel like a few window have been thrust open. Thanks for your love and belief.

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  25. For some reason nothing happens when I click on the trailer -- does anyone have any ideas why?

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    1. not sure? did you go to Creativebug? Here's the direct link: http://www.creativebug.com/instructors/maya-donenfeld

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  26. What a gorgeous, gorgeous trailer! I love your message and how strong and clear you are in your intentions.

    When I was young, my father walked out on us. My mom had no job or income, had been totally reliant on my dad, and had 6 children from ages 4 to 15. One of the most valuable things in my childhood was watching her struggle and work and prevail, watching her find her own way in the world. I saw her become such a strong and independent woman, intent on teaching her children her values. Seeing how well she dealt with a family crisis was - and still is- really empowering to me.

    Of course I didn't appreciate any of this at the time. But I thought I'd share it with you now, just as another perspective on a similar situation.

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    1. These are the stories that fuel me these days. I'm so grateful that you shared. Your mother sounds amazing and I am trying to channel just that kind of strength and independence into each new thing I learn... from paying the bills, heavy yard work, to just keeping everything running. Thank you!

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  27. maya~
    i just watched your video and it completely made me cry... you are so beautiful, your story is so inspiring and hearing your voice over the lovely images of city and country (gimme!) was just amazingly gorgeous and just perfect. so YOU. a huge hug and big congratulations to you my friend! sending lots of love out your way....xoxo *s

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  28. Maya! Loved your trailer. Loved it. What a great medium to express your inspirations....what a fun new way to get know you - and may I say how brave too! Best wishes in all the creative works you are undertaking.

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  29. I finally got a chance to watch! It is beatuiful Maya... as are you!
    I did not really know you "before" but I am so very please to get to know you now. You are a wonderful inspiration. Thank you for being you!

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  30. That was just the loveliest trailer, well done. So simple, yet very powerful. I loved the message about little girls, and you have a very soothing voice! Next time I do a craft project and it all goes a little bit wrong I shall remember you and your trailer x

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  31. That was beautiful. Your voice is so sweet and adds so much to my image of you that I've been quietly following over the years.

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  32. Maya!! What a beautiful film!! I loved your printing class at Squam (2011) so much and have taken so many things I learned to share with my own students (http://www.lovesewing.com/newyork/AboutUs/OurTeam/tabid/1315/Default.aspx -I'm at the bottom of the page)

    Thank you! I look forward to crossing paths again! Xx Kimberli
    Www.TheMacKayWay.com

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  33. I love the trailer. Congratulations on this new venture.

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  34. Beautiful Maya. You can do anything you set your mind to. You are strong & beautifully creative, you will (and are) succeed in this new phase of you're life. (P.s. sorry I have been away, I've been struggling with my health, hopefully once I get answers life will get back in track and I can visit you're lovely space more often.)

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