Thank you so much for all of your kind and loving words about my grandfather. He had a beautiful life, and I'm grateful for each moment we had together.
****
Conversation yesterday with wise friend:
me: Why are there are so many roadblocks in my life these days- when will I be able to start working and making things consistently again? Where the hell did my creativity go?
wise friend: Are you kidding me? You are working and making things all of the time! I bet your feathering your nest just like the birds these days.
me: No, not like I used to. sigh. (ironically, I found the above nest right after we got off the phone!)
wise friend: Of course not- nothing stays the same and everything stays the same. Are you making beautiful meals? What's for dinner?
me: coconut curry is on the stove...
wise friend: are you making things grow?
me: no... the earth does that.
wise friend: stop giving me a hard time, did you plant the flowers that are blooming in your yard?
me: all right- yes, and my garlic is up, too!
wise friend: I think I've seen that you've been sewing (on instagram)
me: if doll clothes count... lots of doll clothes these days.
wise friend: I think we're done here.
****
What would we do without a little loving perspective now and then? Of course, nothing stays the same. We are all ever evolving- but the familiar rhythm of this season is carrying me along. I've been watching the daffodils as they lengthen and stretch. Their golden faces finally peeked out to greet the sun yesterday. Our magnolia has begun the unveiling of her rose colored blossoms. The lilies, poppies, bleeding hearts and lupines are all beginning their preliminary "lushing" and leafing out. The grass has turned an electric shade of green. The birdsong is deafening during the day and the peepers serenade us each night.
The barn is calling for paint, the trails need the wild roses to be pruned so we can find our way back to the creek, the chickens need daily herding into the garden for bug patrol, the laundry is calling to be hung on the line under the blue skies... and I'm considering getting some pansies for the front porch today. I've also been thinking about creating a giant canvas to hang over my bed... and have a "t-shirt to spring dress" refashioning project on the brain for myself and my girl, and....
Maybe- just maybe, some things do stay the same.
I'm sure you are growing and evolving also, but I bet there are some returning favorites... "sweet things" that come back each year for you, too.
I'm glad you have such a wise friend in your life. Another thing to consider-are you not currently working on developing two capable and independent humans in your house? Totally creative endeavor!
ReplyDeleteMy deepest sympathies on the loss of your beloved Grandfather. This quote has brought me some comfort in the past:
There are stars whose light only reaches the earth long after they have fallen apart. There are people whose remembrance gives light in this world, long after they have passed away. This light shines in our darkest nights on the road we must follow.
That quote is attributed to a couple sources and I can't be sure which is correct.
Hugs,
Laura J.
You are indeed lucky to have such a wise friend (if doll clothes count...sheesh!...I'd be singing at the top of my lungs if I sewed something for my girl's doll!). ;o)
ReplyDeleteI feel that Spring brings on a moment of hesitation in us all. Especially if we have done a Spring Clean (like you have!) you need to stop, feel how things feel now, and then proceed from there. One thing that will never change are the wonderful memories that you have of your Grandfather, cherish each one!
So what beautiful creative thing are you going to do with that adorable nest?!
~ joey ~
I often want to do a rewind to my former lives to see just what my days were really like in another time....it's so natural to think that today, right now, we are at a standstill. But, like you say, when I am outdoors and see the changes nature brings each day to the wildflower meadow and woods behind my apartment, I know that life moves on in ways we might might not understand at this moment. All I see when I walk on the trail now is a blaze of yellow wild mustard, Texas bluebonnets, and pink Texas primrose....so unbelievably beautiful under the blue Texas sky.
ReplyDeleteIt's not uncommon when one goes through a major life change such as a divorce or serious illness that they become depressed, (not that I am saying that you are,) and so many aspects of ones life that they took for granted such as creativity becomes a void. Many years ago, I became seriously ill and my father was gravely ill as well. I remember feeling empty and nothing inspired me to create. It felt strange that my well which was normally overflowing with creativity had completely run dry. I continued to surround myself with creative, inspiring people and ideas, and eventually, with the help of time, I came through the other side and was able to create some deeply personal art that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't had the major life experience. For me, it was entering a juried art show that had a theme that gave my creativity a focus, and it just grew from there.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, look for the creativity in your everyday life, but I know what you mean when you ask if you will ever be creative again in the same way. You have grown and changed as person through your experience and what inspired you in the past, may not inspire you today, but be open to new thoughts, techniques and ideas. Is there some kind art or fine craft that you have always wanted to try, but have not gotten around to?
Be kind and patient with yourself; it will come, but it may come as a whisper of a breeze through the window while you are standing, looking out the wide open front door.
Nancy